I am sharing an email that I received Tuesday from a Wisconsin mom, who is stressed about the admission decision that her teenage son must make by May 1.
What follows is a cautionary tale for any families which have not been through the college admission process yet. Read on to discover how to avoid the kind of mistakes that this family made.
A Mother’s Email
Stanford University
Our son has been a great student (4.0/non-weighted/Full I.B.).
Very active in multiple extra-curriculars and a 34 on the ACT.
He’s interested in chemical engineering and has been accepted at Stanford, Northwestern, Johns Hopkins, Duke, Washington University in St. Louis and the
(we live in Wisconsin).
Wait listed at Penn.
Never in a million years did we anticipate this.
We encouraged him to apply because of his record and after hearing from so many people “the selective schools give you enough to come close to state tuition.”
Not really, but, here we are.
So, we have two weeks to make this decision.
We can not afford any of the selective schools and all have come in with roughly $30,000 in grants/scholarships–leaving our portion around $30,000.
UW has offered him $10,000/year for four years.
Husband and I can contribute $10,000/year but that’s all we’re comfortable with given that we need to focus on retirement and our other son who will be in college in two years.
Our son is conflicted.
Doesn’t want to regret passing on Stanford or Northwestern (#1 and #2).
The prestige and program at Stanford appeal greatly.
But, there will be debt.
We are uncomfortable with that much debt.
In the long run, is it worth it?
Hmmmm….there’s the million dollar question.
What loans do you even look for so that the debt will belong to the student not the parent?
We want to give him sound advice, but said in the long run the decision will be his, but so will the debt.
My pragmatic, midwest values say take the money and run to UW where he’ll come out debt free.
Your advice/thoughts?
What Should This Teenager Do?
If you’ve been reading my
for any length of time you probably already know what I’m going to recommend. The financially responsible move would be to attend the University of Wisconsin! The figures I pulled from the College Board shows that
is going to be about $17,500 a year and the child can graduate without debt.
It’s a no brainer.
In contrast, the teenager would have to take out at least $80,000 worth of loans ($20,00 a year) to attend a school like
and that assumes that prices remain stable. The teenager could borrow a total of $27,000 in federal , which are designed for students. That’s a manageable figure because of built-in protections.
Even with federal students loans, the child would still have to borrow another $53,000. And he would have to seek out private college loans to cover these costs. The interest rates on these loans are variable and some students are borrowing at 9% or higher.
Teenagers and families can be emotional when choosing schools and weighing costs so I think it is important that they crunch the numbers before they commit their child to a future of crushing debt. That’s why I’d suggest that this family use a student loan calculator to see what kind of payments the son would face graduating with $80,000 in loans.
Using a Student Loan Calculator
I used the
and determined that he’d owe about $311 a month for his federal loans over a 10-year repayment period. The Stafford interest rate is 6.8% for all students.
I used an interest rate of 7% for his private student loans and I did not include loan fees for either loan, which would increase the costs:
Add these federal and private loan obligations up and this poor kid would be paying $926 a month. And, I should add, private lenders will show no mercy if the kid can’t come up with the cash each month. See how this puts things in perspective?
In my next post, I’m going to have more to say about what this family could possibly do to lower their costs. I’ll also cover what parents need to know about having two children in college at once.
Read More:
Lynn O’Shaughnessy is the author of the second edition of , which will be released on May 6.
Follow Lynn on other social media platforms or subscribe to The College Solution RSS Feed below.
Related Posts:
Powered by WishList Member -How can you inspire a lasting love of reading in your child?
Most parents buy board books for their babies and say they hope they'll love reading. And yet, by middle school, most kids stop reading books that
aren't assigned in school. In the USA, an alarming 66 percent of fourth graders in public school were reading below the proficiency&level
in 2013. ( )
What happens? The habit of reading never really gets ingrained in childhood. Our kids love leafing through books as toddlers, looking at the pictures.
They may even enjoy reading as early elementary schoolers. But reading is hard work, and life offers so many other ways to entertain themselves
that early reading often seems more like work than play. They never get to that delicious place where reading a book is more fun than almost
So how can you inspire a lasting love of reading?
1. Read to your child from the earliest age.
And not just at bedtime. Buy board books and cloth books as some of your child's first toys. Carry them around with snacks in the diaper bag. Create
"cozy time," a ritual of connection in which you both associate love and cuddling with reading. Any time either of you needs a break, grab
a book and read to your child. Post tantrum, during lunch, after school, while you have your coffee on Sunday, any time can be cozy time.
2. Begin visiting the library regularly
...by the time your child is two and she may well prefer reading to any other activity. Use the time in the library to read to your child as well
as to select books. My kids would never sit still at library "story times," but if your child likes them, by all means go. Write down the names
of the books you check out if your library can't give you a printout, so you can keep track of returning them on time. Keep library books on
a separate shelf in the living room or kitchen so you don't lose them, and so you can always easily find something new to read. (If you don't
take them out of the house, you won't lose them.)
Supervising a toddler and perusing bookshelves i it helps if you can develop a list of authors and books so you can find good
ones easily. Librarians usually have a list of favorite books for various ages, and other parents and kids are always a good source of suggestions.
Find some series you like and share your child's excitement when you find another book by a beloved author. (See ).
3. Read to your child as often as possible.
I found that before my children could really participate in meals, reading to them during lunch or an early dinner (when the other parent isn't
yet home from work) entertained them enough to keep them sitting. They were much more likely to try the foods I put in front of them with my
company and the diversion of a book, than if I let them sit in the high chair or at the kitchen table to eat while I cooked. This is very different
from putting kids in front of a screen while they eat. Then, they stare at the screen as they unconsciously put things in their mouth. Being
read to is more like li they can look at their food and savor it as they listen, glancing occasionally at the pictures
you hold up.&
4. Don't push your child to learn to read.
Most children learn to&read naturally once they develop the preliminary skills. Your goal is not to help him sound out words, but to encourage
a love of books, both pictures and stories. Teaching him to read may take all the fun out of reading. If you push him, he'll feel put on the
spot, and he'll feel dumb. That feeling will last his whole life, and it won't help him like&reading.
Some very smart children don't learn to read until they're over seven years old. Don't worry. They'll quickly catch up with those who started at
four or five. I know two children who were reading at 3 years old and at 6 years old, respectively. They are both now 9, and in the fourth
grade. They both read at about an eighth grade reading level. The only difference is that the early reader feels insecure about no longer being
“special,” and often acts obnoxiously superior to other kids. There is absolutely no benefit to pushing your child to read "early," and there
are many drawbacks. (Should you stop her from teaching herself to read? Of course not. I'm just saying not to push it and not to make it your
child's claim to fame, because sooner or later everyone else will catch up. It's a bit like whether a child learns to walk at nine months or
16 months. Who cares?)
If you notice that your child seems to have a hard time recognizing letters, or confuses letters, or can't sound out words, or can't recognize
words that he has seen many times before, it is possible that he has a learning difference such as dyslexia. Discuss your concern with your
child's school and ask to speak to their learning specialist, who should be experienced in diagnosis and early intervention.
5. Don't stop reading to him once he learns to read.
Read to him every step of the way, for as long as he'll let you. Continuing to read to him will keep him interested as his skills develop. And
it gives you lots of fodder for conversations about values and choices.
Parents often complain that their early readers CAN read, but just don't seem interested in doing so. Most kids go through this stage, but you
can help to keep it a brief one. The child's problem, of course, is that he can read simple books, but his imagination craves more developed
plots and characters. Those books are agonizing work, with too many words he doesn’t know, and the labor distracts him from the story. He needs
his parents to keep reading to him, to keep him fascinated with the secrets of books and motivated to become a proficient reader.
At this vulnerable stage, it is well worth the extra time to track down books he can read and will find exciting. Picture books with lots of words
work well, since he can use the pictures to help him stay interested and figure out the words. Soon, through his work in school, as well as
the books he picks up at home, his reading skills will catch up with his appetite for books. Within a few months, he'll be able to handle simple
chapter books. At that point, look for series books, which often lure kids on to the next book and the next.
6. Ritualize daily reading time.
Set up a “cozy reading time” every day. This can be a perfect chill-out time after school, or after lunch in the summer, or a wind-down time at
the end of the evening. It’s amazing how motivated kids are to read if this allows them to stay up a little later. We negotiated a half hour
later bedtime that our first graders were ready for anyway, as long as it was spent in bed reading a book.
Some six year olds are just so tired by the end of the day, however, that reading is simply too much work for them then. Until your child is ready
for bedtime reading, try setting up his cozy reading time while you make dinner, after homework is done. The only downside to this is that
you’ll need to scrape out a half hour to start him off at what is probably your busiest time of the day.
7. Help her tackle the next level.
Pick a book she can read, but that is a bit harder than she&might choose on her own -- a simple chapter book, rather than a picture book,
for example. Read together until you have to answer the phone or start dinner, but a minimum of a quarter of the book, so your child is hooked.
Then tell her it's time for her read-alone time. It’s her choice. Does she want to keep reading the book you've just gotten her into, or read
something else? Most kids grab the book and finish it themselves. (If she doesn't, you may need to drop back a level to a slightly simpler
book.) Keep choosing engrossing, slightly harder books.
8. Help him improve his reading by alternating pages with him
...during your read-aloud time. But if he stumbles, supply the word. Don't make him stop
your goal is to keep him excited
about the book by moving forward with the story. I recommend this only for limited periods of time – it tires kids out -- and I recommend that
you not be rigid about enforcing your child's participation (in other words, have them do every third page, or fourth). If you take the fun
out of reading with him, you've done more harm than good.
9. Try smart comics for reluctant readers.
Some kids get a terrific jump start from comics, which are less intimidating to them than chapter books. Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes and
the Tin Tin series, for instance, are kid pleasers with sophisticated vocabulary and concepts.
10. Never stop reading to her.
I know she can read anything herself now. But why give up such an important time to connect with each other emotionally? Why give up the chance
to read books that trigger good discussions about values and choices and hardships and hope? Don’t stop till she fires you. My fourteen year
old can read physics books I can't fathom, but he still lets me read history or politics to him occasionally. The best part for both of us
is then talking about what we've read.
11. Read yourself.
Role model. If they don't see you read, why should they? Discuss what you're all reading at the dinner table. Institutionalize family reading time,
when a parent reads to the whole family. As kids get older, they can take over the role of reader, or the book can be passed around the circle.
12. Limit technology.
There is no way a book can compete with TV or computer. Most kids, given the choice, just won't choose the book often enough to make it a habit.
Before you know it, they'll have developed other habits for relaxing, and reading will be something other people do. Limiting or even banning
screen usage until reading is well-established may be the most important thing you can do to encourage reading.
for more on why TV compromises academics.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
AHA! NEWSLETTER
"Dr.Laura's daily emails are the perfect way to start the day with love and compassion"
Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings
CONNECT WITH DR.LAURA ON...
DOES THIS KIND OF PARENTING WORK?
Folks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
UPCOMING EVENTS
No items found.
RECENT BLOG POSTS
WHAT I'M READING
Reviews of the best parenting books l've found over the years
"Dr. Laura's daily emails are the perfect way to start the day with love and compassion."& -Misti
Get Dr Laura's free coaching in your Inbox!
"Yes. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference."
"What I have noticed by practicing Dr. Laura's advice on empathizing with your child, is that it does dissipate the conflict."
"...all I can say is...the proof is in the pudding. It really, really works. Try for one day, then just one more day."}